Me: You’re so cute. It’s sad that you’re single!
S: Meh… I’m all ready to die alone.
Me: I won’t let you die alone!
Me: See I’m such a nice person and I definitely don’t deserve to die alone
S: Everyone dies alone.. its just that people fool themselves.
Me: I don’t wanna leave the world without a witness. That’s better?
S: Yes, that’s perfect!
Me: I’ll see you die.. I’ll watch you squirm with pain on the bed or even better, on the floor. I’ll watch you and smile with a glass of single malt on one hand and a joint on the other. I’d not take a sip, not a drag of my joint, I’d not miss this sight for anything on earth, not even the momentary pleasure of the bitter sweet liquid or the tar in my lungs. That’s how strong my promise is. I’ll not let you die unwitnessed and I’d do a pretty darn good job at that!